Say what you need to say

I had a tough conversation this week.

Have you ever committed or held onto an obligation for far longer than you wanted to for the sake of doing it because you “should” or to meet others’ expectations?

I was (and sometimes still am) a people pleaser. I hate when someone feels disappointed in me, and I will do everything I can to avoid that feeling, even at my expense.

Yet, that avoidance has led me to make choices that don’t feel intentional. 

When I started writing this newsletter earlier this year, I examined my life with a magnifying glass, revealing areas of opportunity and areas where I needed to make changes.

One of those opportunities? The need to address a commitment that I no longer align with.

This commitment is costing me time and money. It’s also forcing me to deprioritize other values I hold more highly.

Previously, when situations like this arose, I would “suck it up” and hold on. This time, I went a different route.

Once I realized this time investment was challenging my values, I took a few more steps:

• I wrote down specific examples of how this commitment conflicts with my values in this season of life

• I reflected on the pros and cons of ending the commitment early (ending now vs. roughing it out for the next 12 months)

• I trusted myself when I felt it was time to make a change and release the obligation

• I jumped on a phone call with the right person to share my values-driven decision to walk away early and respectfully (while I was sweating uncontrollably and speaking with a shaky voice because we’re all human!)

Guess what happened as soon as I hung up the phone? I felt lighter, my shoulders dropped, and I knew with certainty that I had taken the best action (even though it was hard) to reclaim and own my time.

Now, I won’t advocate for being someone who frequently breaks commitments and is unreliable. This is not a permission slip to go rogue and flip your life upside down!

But every minute you invest your time in something that doesn’t feel right or aligned for you is a minute you can never get back. And the minutes add up quickly. Are you using them wisely?

If you can identify any similar situations, consider having a tough conversation to make a change. You owe it to yourself! And if you need help or a listening ear along the way, I’m here for you, so send me an email, and we’ll make a plan together.

One hundred people (including you!) care about living an intentional life and have invited Time Intentional to claim a space in their (likely packed) inbox. The fact that 100 people care enough about living their one precious life with purpose (or helping me honor my grandparents’ legacy this way) is an honor I will never take for granted. The first 100 is an exceptional crew. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Time Well Spent: Weekly Roundup

1. I spent a handful of hours resting (and napping) early this week as I battled a pesky head cold. The worst part was feeling guilty for resting in the middle of the day. Then, I reminded myself that choosing to rest was intentional (and much-needed). So here’s a reminder: intentional rest is a fantastic use of your time.

2. We tried something new and celebrated Lunar New Year with my husband’s family and a table filled with delicious Korean food, including Tteokguk (Korean Rice Cake Soup), Japchae (Stir-Fried Glass Noodles), Kimchi, Hobakjeon (Zucchini Pancakes), and more! Maybe it will become a tradition! Traditions can be a great way to prioritize intentional moments.

3. I met up with another incredible Denver-based writer, Hsing Tseng. We discussed our professional backgrounds, freelancing, storytelling as a powerful way to connect with others, experiences that changed our lives, our fears, and death and unexpected loss. (Yeah, we went deep! Honestly, there’s nothing better than connecting with someone and hitting it off right away.) My favorite part was that after our conversation, Hsing looked at me and said, “You’re so genuine!”—a value I hold dear and strive to show up as. It made my week!

The Takeaways

• Are you giving yourself space to make intentional decisions without judgment?

• How might traditions help you build repeatable intentional moments? What steps must you take to make this happen?

• When was the last time someone offered a compliment that reflected one or more of your values? How did it make you feel? How can you recreate more of those moments?

By the way, if you’re looking for an easy way to revisit the takeaways (or want to grab a journal and reflect), I created a prompt page with a running list so you can revisit these questions in one place. Let me know what you think! 

Time Intentional 🕰️ Reader Love 💞

• Shout out to Alexa Phillips for including Time Intentional as a recommendation for people who sign up for her newsletter, Creatives Anonymous.

• Thank you to Kaitlyn Arford for resharing my posts about Time Intentional on LinkedIn! I’m a big fan of her work at Freelance Opportunities!

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Only you can decide how to spend your time in a way that feels intentional!

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In addition to writing Time Intentional, I’m a freelance writer and content creator who enjoys partnering with brands to build better workplaces (because we spend a lot of time at work!). Learn more about my areas of specialization on my website!

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