On living with the end in mind

Isn’t it funny how we gravitate toward the ideas and topics that light us up on a soul-shaking level, sometimes without trying?

Since I started writing this newsletter, I've seen and heard more conversations about building and creating a beautiful, intentional life, most of the time without looking for them, especially in the books I’m picking up.

I enjoy most of the books I read, but I rarely find one that changes my life and will stick with me for many years. Yet, that’s the impact that When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi* had on me when I spontaneously borrowed a copy via the Libby app a few weeks back.

Paul Kalanithi was a neurosurgeon and writer. At the age of 36, nearing the end of his residency and training, Paul was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. Kalanithi dedicated his life to helping and treating the dying, only to become a terminal patient on the other side of the doctor-patient relationship himself.

Heartbreakingly, Paul Kalanithi passed away while writing When Breath Becomes Air. As a reader, I felt the abruptness of his sudden departure as his story cut off. It felt the same way it did for me in real life. It’s a feeling I’ve experienced personally, as both my Grandma Janet and Grandpa Dale passed away unexpectedly. And one I felt deeply after watching my Papa battle esophageal cancer.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from my losses that the book reinforced, it’s this: We all walk toward death. Coming in close contact with one’s mortality will alter the way you view life (and death) permanently, ideally for the better, for some, for the worse. Mortality is a guide toward ensuring an intentional life.

But you don’t have to wait for a life-altering diagnosis, unexpected loss, or any other devastating event to choose and live an intentional life. You can make that choice every single day.

When Breath Becomes Air is a masterpiece.

After finishing Kalanithi’s book, I started reading The Measure by Nikki Erlick*, a recommendation from a family member. It’s fictional, yet again, a powerful story closely linked to using your time as best you can before it runs out.

The Measure charts the dawn of a new world in which society, globally, wakes up one morning to the arrival of small wooden boxes for adults. Each wooden box contains the name of an individual and the inscription: “The measure of your life lies within.”

The boxes contain strings of varying lengths. The string length represents the length of the box owner’s life.

Some characters choose to look at the length of their string. Others refuse and never open their boxes.

The question for debate: Would you choose to find out the length of your life if you had the chance?

Admittedly, I sit somewhere on the fence, but I lean toward no, I wouldn’t look. Perhaps it’s because knowing would be a heavy burden if my string was shorter than I hoped.

But even more so, doesn’t knowing you have “plenty of time” left rob you of making decisions that feel intentional today? If time were abundant, it’d be easier to put off making purposeful decisions, knowing you could always do that next year, in the next decade, or the second half of your life.

Perhaps there’s magic in the naivety of it all.

Time Well Spent: Weekly Roundup

1. I've been a reader at heart my entire life. I had a "classroom" at my Grandma Janet and Grandpa Dale's house, with stacks of the latest Highlights magazine on my desk. I'd slyly leave the Scholastic Book Fair catalogs out on the counter, hoping my parents would offer me cash for a book or two and some scented pencils and other stationery accessories while they were at it. And then, like many, I set my love for reading aside as I got older and transitioned into adulthood. I've rekindled my love for reading and am prioritizing time to do it again, and it feels oh so good.

2. Technology usage has come up in several of my social circles lately. I recommend the ScreenZen app, a free app that helps you limit the time you spend on various apps in a highly customizable way. For example, I have most of my social media apps on my iPhone blocked from 6:00 am to 6:00 pm daily (weekends included!) and have to solve a word puzzle to get into one of my blocked apps. I’ve used this app for almost a year now and love it.

3. I recently learned about and subscribed to Nice News before they hit 1M subscribers! One million people are excited about fun, engaging, positive stories. Isn’t that incredible? Here’s a read I enjoyed from the March 22, 2025, issue: Feeling Sentimental? Study Shows Nostalgia May Help You Maintain Close Relationships.

The Takeaways

• Channel a younger version of you. What hobbies or activities did you enjoy as a child that you might intentionally invite back into your life or prioritize again?

• What tools or resources might you need to help you create healthier habits? Or, what tools do you use to develop healthy habits that you can share with those around you?

• Who makes you feel nostalgic? What places evoke nostalgia? Consider creating a list of names, locations, memories, and photos you can refer back to (hello, scrapbooking!).

One of the tools I use to bring Time Intentional to life, ProWritingAid*, is hosting a spring sale through April 4, 2025. I purchased an annual subscription to ProWritingAid in September 2024, and so far, I appreciate the detailed suggestions and feedback the tool provides (especially for longer works). It’s helping me improve my writing style and unlearn poor structures.

Receive a 25% discount on new Yearly Premium and Premium Pro plans for a limited time. ProWritingAid is built by writers, for writers. It’s helping me become a better writer with every issue. Check it out!

I’m Alyssa Towns, a freelance writer, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Only you can decide how to spend your time in a way that feels intentional!

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