Don't skate past the good stuff

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The one thing no one tells you about prioritizing freedom of choice in how you spend your time is that shedding traditional expectations and pushing back against systems that don’t serve you is uncomfortable, guilt-provoking, and sometimes even overwhelming.

At least, these feelings have transpired in my journey to become a more intentional, deliberate person, especially in a work-oriented sense.

As part of my desire to lead a more intentional life, I left behind my 9-5 to pursue full-time self-employment for more control over my schedule. Even though I’ve been reshaping my work identity, I still experience internal dilemmas when I spend time during “traditional working hours” differently than most people.

I had one of those moments this week. On Wednesday, one of my closest family members turned 10—a significant milestone—double digits!

Thanks to spring break, he had his birthday off and could celebrate on his special day. He chose the skating rink for his birthday celebration.

When I got invited to go rollerskating at 2:00 pm on Wednesday (mind you, my family is aware I have flexibility, and I welcome these sorts of invitations), I immediately thought, “Ugh, how inconvenient…right in the middle of the week during the workday! I’m supposed to work during those hours. (Right?)”

And honestly? I’m embarrassed to admit I felt that way, but the thought slipped out involuntarily.

After glancing at my calendar, Wednesday afternoon was a nearly perfect time to step away (no urgent deadlines, no scheduled calls). Not to mention that birthdays happen once a year, and we only get so many of them, say roughly 75 or so. So, I decided to go.

Wednesday morning, I felt frantic (for no reason; remember, my calendar and workload were not an issue here) and overwhelmingly guilty (because this is unacceptable, right?).

Then I went to the skating rink, put on a sweaty pair of skates, channeled my inner child, and celebrated a once-in-a-lifetime occasion: a loved one’s 10th birthday.

I got to be there for his birthday and spent nearly an hour rollerskating with my mom. I can’t recall putting on a pair of skates since I was 15. And I certainly can’t remember the last time (if ever?) I’ve seen my mom rollerskate. We had a blast (despite kids flying across the rink in every direction), and I didn’t fall!

Every ounce of guilt and questioning where I should be vanished. I was exactly where I was supposed to be, “traditional working hours” or not.

We let work hours fill, consume, and expand into many of our best waking hours. We insert them into our lives and tell ourselves we can plan the rest of life—celebrations, desires, hobbies, relationships, hardships, losses, and everything in between—around the hours remaining.

And yes, we need money to live, but at what cost?

I recognize that not every reader has the same amount of time freedom as I do, so I’m not challenging you to drop everything during your workweek or workday.

But let’s be honest with each other for a minute. Have you ever…

• Turned down plans with family or friends because you felt too tired after work to go and do the thing

• Reconsidered (or even rescheduled) a personal trip because stepping away from work during a busy season seemed unfathomable

• Missed something important a loved one said because you were so deep in your work responsibilities that you shut everything else out

It happens all the time. I’m guilty of it, too.

Work is necessary, but making time for moments that matter to you is more important.

Sometimes, choosing the option that feels “wrong” in the context of societal norms we’ve come to know and abide by will be uncomfortable.

But in the grand scheme of it all, the discomfort, especially in pursuit of a value-aligned choice, will be worth it. Don’t let those feelings change your mind.

Time Well Spent: Weekly Roundup

1. Last week, I caught up with one of my oldest, dearest friends. She is the friend I can go days/months/years without talking to (although we prefer to see each other regularly), but we always pick up right where we left off. She’s entering a new season of life (in more ways than one!), and I’m so grateful to be by her side. Friendships change as we age, and change is good. Learn how to support your people in each new season.

2. A running list of household chores and spring refreshes filled my mind. So, I spent less than two minutes making a to-do list on my phone. Almost every evening this week, I picked an item or two from the list to tackle. Not only did this make me feel better mentally, but it also helped me get more done in a shorter timeframe.

3. I recently worked with the Clockwise team on a blog post (and campaign) I’m stoked about: Meeting Hangovers: Why They Happen and How to Recover. Two quick callouts: (1) I’m proud of the imagery work in the introduction, and unsurprisingly, it is a result of real-life experience, and (2) Meetings can quickly become an unintentional use of time! Use them wisely.

The Takeaways

• How can you intentionally show up for someone in your life who is entering or transitioning into a new season of life? How might your relationship look different in this season? How will it stay the same?

• How can you clear space in your mind so you might show up more intentionally?

• Workplace meetings check! Audit and review your calendar. Do your meetings feel like an intentional use of time? If not, where can you adjust them to increase their value or substitute them with another form of communication?

Time Intentional 🕰️ Reader Love 💞

My LinkedIn community (specifically, the communications community) continues supporting and showing up for me. Thank you so much, David Friedman and Courtney Culmer, for your kindness!

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I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Only you can decide how to spend your time in a way that feels intentional!

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In addition to writing Time Intentional, I’m a freelance writer and content creator who enjoys partnering with brands to build better workplaces (because we spend a lot of time at work!). Learn more about my areas of specialization on my website!

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